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The Puzzle
Abu El Abed (AA) became a very rich man. One day while he was in a meeting with his directors, Em El Abed (EA)
dropped by and gave him a big puzzle box.
He kicked every body out of the conference room and locked the door. A few hours later EA knocked the door but
AA did not reply. AA stayed inside the conference room for days and months..
After 2 years he came out.
AA: 2 years.. 2 years.. I won
People around him: what do you mean ya AA, we thought you were dead!
AA: look ya hameer, it is written on the box 3 to 5 years... I solved it in 2
years!!!
I.Q Test
Mara Abu El Abed asked Abu Steif
AA: iza el-batata racha7het shou bet 'oul lamma ti3tus?
AS thought for a while and did not answer.
AA: it will say tttchippsssss. tayyeb halmarra iza el-banadura racha7het kif bte3tus?
AS thought for a while and did not answer.
AA: it will say kakatttchapppppp. Ok hayde hayne shu iza el-7hamda racha7het?
AS: it will say 7a7a7amdaaaaa I guess
AA started to laugh: ya zalame lish el-7hamda aslan betrache7h. ma kella vitaminet.
Abu El Abed the Beggar
Once Abu El Abed (AA) decided to beg for money. He.extended both hands out to beg.
People looked at him and asked, why do you use both hands to beg. All beggars use one
hand. He said that his friend Abu Steif went to the movies and asked him to beg on his behalf.
Abu El Abed and Abu Steif Steal a Boat
Abu El Abed (AA) and Abu Steif (AS) went deep see fishing. They stole a little boat and went
in a few kilometres. AA started drinking and fell asleep.
AS: ya AA feek fatteh 3einak (get up), this boat is leaking and it will sink.
AA: let the boat sink. ma heyeh shakhtoura mesh la'lna (the boat is
not ours)
El Radio
Marra Abu El Abed (AA) kean 3am bey ba7hle' (staring) be el radio taba3o. Jarrab yefham
shou ya3ne "AM-FM". Eja Abu Steif (AS) weh allo:
AS: shoo 3am ta3mel ya AA?
AA: lak ya khayyeh ma 3am befham shou ya3neh el FM wala el AM.
Tala3 fee AS hayk!! weh allo: ya 7hmar, FM ya3ne fee mussi'a, w' AM ya3ne afish
musi'a..
Abu El Abed Late to Work
One day Abu El Abed (AA)was very late for work, so he was driving very fast. Unfortunately he hit a guy who was
walking on the street. AA stopped immediately and got out of the car to see if the guy is ok:
Guy: Shou mish shayifni? (you didn't see me?)
AA: Mbaleh, bass mish zaker wayn. (Yes, but I don't remember
where)
Good Business
One day Abu El Abed (AA) decided to try his luck in a new business in the United States. He left for the U.S. and
started selling clothes and sleeping equipment. Six months later he called Em El Abed (EA) and said..
AA: " Em El Abed doubi chantek ou ta3eh la hawn. " (EA pack your clothes and come here)
EA: " Leish ya AA ? " (Why AA ?)
AA: " Be3et miyet farsheh ou khams miyet kilot ou rbehet 150 000 Dollar." (I sold one hundred
mattresses and five hundred underwear and made a profit of 150 000 Dollars)
EA: " Eh inta doub chntak ou ta3a la hawn. Ana bi farsheh ouahdeh ou bala kilot rbehet 200 000
Dollar. " (You pack your bags and come here. With one mattress and no underwear I made a profit
of 200 000 Dollars.)
Abu El Abed and the Chinese Girl
Abu El Abed (AA) is going in a bus to Tripoli. He looks at the girl sitting next to him and
says...
AA: ma7hsoubek AA, baddek ma twakhezneh, enteh sinieh sheh ? (Are you a Chinese
?)
Girl (Politely): la' ya AA aneh mesh sinieh. (No, I'm not Chinese.)
After a little while AA asks the girl,
AA: bayek sineh sheh ? (Is your father a Chinese ?)
Girl: la' bayeh mesh sineh. (No, my father is not a chinese)
After a while...
AA: Emmek sinieh sheh ? (Is your mother a Chinese ?)
Girl: la' emmeh mesh sinieh. (No, my mother is not a Chinese.)
After ten minutes...
AA: akkedeh enno ma fee 7hada sineh be3ayletkoun ? (Are you sure that you do not
have any Chinese in your family ?)
In exasperation, and in a final effort to shut AA up, the girl replies in high voice...
Girl : eh, ana sinieh ou bayeh sineh ou emmeh sinieh ou 3ailteh kelloun sinieh. Shou
baddak ba3ed ? (I am Chinese, my father is Chinese, my mother is Chinese and all
my family is chinese. What do you want more ?)
AA : ma tkouneh z3elteh. Bass ghareeb enno 3younek mesh metel 3youn el sinieh.
(Funny,.....you don't have eyes like the Chinese eyes.)
Abu Steif Visits the US
Abu Steif (AS) wanted to go to the US. Since he doesn't know a word of English, he consults
with his best friend Abu El Abed (AA).
Abu Steif: "Dakheelak ya Abu El Abed, teach me a few words so that at least I can
order something to eat.
Abu El Abed : " Ma fiha shay, Hamburger!"
Abu Steif : "Shoo Hayde Hamburger?"
Abu El Abed explains what a Hamburger is and Abu Steif went to the US. He spent
the first week eating hamburgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner. After one week he
couldn't take it anymore, he telephoned Abu El Abed and asked him:
AS: "Dakheelak ya Abu El Abed, tell me a word other than Hamburger. My stomach is
like a concrete wall"
AA: "Baseeta, Milk!"
AS: "Shoo hayde Milk?"
AA: "Walaw, Haleeb!"
The next day, Abu Steif went to for breakfast and told the waiter: "Milk"
Waiter: "Do you want it with sugar or without sugar?"
AS: "Yehri’ Dibak ya Abu El Abed, Hat Hamburger!"
Abu El Abed Calls Home
Abu Abed (AA) was calling his house; the Maid answered...
AA: This is your master, give me madam.
Maid: I can't, she is sleeping with my master.
AA (ragging mad): You idiot, I am your master; she's cheating on me!!! Go get the
gun, shoot them, and get back to me.
She does as he says
AA: Now cut them into small pieces and put them in plastic bags.
Again she obediantly does as he ordered
AA: Take the bags and put them in the basement.
Maid: But sir, this is an appartment, we don't have a basement.
AA: Isn't this 309-433?
Maid: No, it's 309-444
AA: Sorry, wrong number.
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